That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
