so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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