awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
