I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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