I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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