i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you didnt know i had herpes?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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