i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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