So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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