you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
