some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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