I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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