his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
