My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
