mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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