If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
