dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
