what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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