my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
