He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
