So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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