I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
