Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
