it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
