We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
