I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
