my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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