what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
