Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
