Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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