That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
