Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
