She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
