hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I didn't notice because vodka
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
