No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
