Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
