Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Congratulations! We have a period
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
