I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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