you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
