help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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