turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize