im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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