My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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