how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im holly from the hills drunk
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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