That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
