I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
