Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize