he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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