I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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