This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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