11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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