dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
