Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
my poor anus
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
