I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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