Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
