for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sobbing to NWA
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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