yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
