But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
