If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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