Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
