as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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