I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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