Life is so much better after having sex.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
