evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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