dude i'm inner monologue high
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
