I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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