I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I fill condoms, not promises.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
