I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
