We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
